4 Things No one tells you about a Pap Smear
Quick one, before we get carried away—you need to get a pap smear if you are over the age of 21 and sexually active. There are two words in your entire existence that should never appear next to your name on a form—“cancer” and “hell”. For the latter, i feel like heaven has forms, filed in cabinets with bright colored page makers and bahhh….back to pap smears (watch me resist digressing today).
Pap smears are very important, they help to examine the health of the cervix and to screen for cellular change that may occur from the presence of Human Papillomavirus (HPV), a nuisance of a virus, known to cause cervical cancer. Pap smears are very accurate and reduce cervical cancer rates and mortality by 80%.
Fun fact: the pap smear was discovered by a man with the most upbeat name i’ve ever heard—Georgios Papanikolaou.
Many people are bothered by the fact that a face and a pair of hands are in between their spread legs during a pap smear- this really is the least of my concerns, my main concerns are listed below:
Ike’s main concerns about pap smears
- That i look a little like Spider-Man in a pastel-colored ward gown. You have to scoot down to the end of the examination table, while balancing your feet in stirrups
- That even 5 hours after, you find yourself asking "What the heck just happened down there, seriously?" Feels like a parade just walked through! (ok I'm exaggerating....but I really am not *straight face*)
- That you begin to wonder if the gynecologist can read your sex life pattern from being down there *blink* somewhat like reading palms
- That you can’t see what the doctor is actually doing, could be taking a selfie with your….*overactive mind alert*.
I’m sure you don’t have these thoughts, not unless you have an overactive mind like me, in which case, we should meet and discuss the probability of these concerns. Lol.
4 tips on how to prepare and get through a pap smear
Glad tidings, Pap smears are very brief. Here are 4 tips on how to prepare and get through unscathed-relatively unscathed.
- Avoid sex, douching and spermicides the day before
- Get a wax or go in Lioness style, completely up to you
- Take a deep breath and relax; try not to think about the pokes and scrapes
- Say the word “Papanikolaou” about 20 times, you should be done on the 18th count!
Phew! Not so bad, huh? Goodluck with experiencing "the parade" feeling for the next 5 hours!
Seriously though, you need to get a pap smear, please!
Have you had your routine check up this year? Any experiences? Tell me you have at least one of these thoughts? Let’s discuss!