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My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

I blog about Relationships, God and Style!

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The Perfect Girl Recipe

My friend and I sat on the couch while we waited for our blueberry face masks to marinate. Looking ghoulish, gobbling choc-chip cookies and scaring  people on snap chat....sometimes that's the best way to spend your Friday night.

There was no better time to talk about beauty and whine about the physical features we wished we had.

Nicky wished for darker skin so she would never have to lie under the summer sun tanning again(she's white and blond). I wished for rock-solid abs and endless hair, so I never have to see Shawn. T again or spend so much on weaves. She also wanted more curves and the chance to make braids

and plaits (don't ask). ‎It turned out we both wanted what the other person had and took for granted. I realized how we all have something someone else wants. 

We concluded that girls around the world were renowned for a particular physical trait (which they probably take for granted): This was our observation, correct us if we are wrong: Black girls; dark skin, curves, hair that actually stands, White girls ;flat tummies, long hair, Mediterranean/Middle eastern girls; dark eyes and lashes, Indian girls; voluminous hair, Asian girls; agelessness (we immediately googled Lucy Liu's age to back up that point. 46!). 

If only there was away to fuse all these features together. We couldn't have it all but we could buy it all. So we decided to write the perfect girl recipe or the perfect girl survival pack.

Perfect girl recipe/survival pack

Ingredients

1 Fredrick's extreme-cleavage push-up bra

1 Ardyss body magic shaper

1 bum-lifting bra (briefs forgone)

1 body con dress

1 set of false eyelashes

10 pieces of gel nail fixtures

3-4 bundles of 22" Peruvian hair extensions (Nicky had no idea what this was)

1 stick of YSL's rogue volupte 

A pair of heels. 

Directions

Toss together.

That night, after we scared a couple more people on snapchat, we washed off the mask and continued to laze around on the sofa, snacking on junk.

Where did we get this idea of the perfect girl from? Media, of course. 

Letters to my Greatgrand-daughter : The Cheatee

The bartender series: The Rouse of the Dance