My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

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Get Over Him on a Budget! (tried and tested)

Get Over Him on a Budget! (tried and tested)


Not everyone is able to jet off into the sunset with a large floppy hat, white framed sunglasses and a Tory Burch bag, when they need to get over an ex. In fact, sometimes, it's the complete opposite. I remember I had to get over a guy in an apartment, all by myself without power (thanks to NEPA), no wifi, and a suspicious presence which I think was a mouse for about two weeks. Oh yeah, I was broke too and I couldn't drive yet. It was basically, me sitting next to my broken heart in the heat and darkness, drinking warm water and counting ceiling panels. Thankfully, I had family around me but only when they returned from work in the evenings and we would hang out.

During that period, i knew the best thing to do would be 1.) Not grovel or call him (ever, ever, ever) I do admit dialing his number a couple of times but then i didn't have credit on my phone, so it disconnected automatically. Lol. So you see, being broke did save me my dignity there. 

2.) Get busy.

 Not that kind of busy. I mean busy like active and occupied...but on a slender wallet. How? Check out the steps below:

The steps to the budgeted get-over-him plan (in no particular order) 

Cry - cheap and cheerful. This works great! Unless you are in a dry desert and you need to conserve your body fluids. In that case, dry cry (I have a niece who is quite skilled at this, crying without tears, I could give you her card. She's a professional)

Face reality - Go through the stuff you own. You might want to box up the things that remind you of him. Of course, if everything reminds you of him, you will soon be without property and who needs property anyway? Seriously though, separate the stuff.

Spend time with family- Family can't dump you! Ha! Though they wish they could but they really can't. Tsktsk. (Love you, fam!)

Friends- Hang out with friends and meet new people even if you don't feel like it. Nobody wants to meet new people when dealing with heart break but its advised. You never know who you might meet! 

Exercise- Endorphins! The happy drug. Say Yes to drugs! That sounds bad, doesn't it? I'll rephrase...Say No to drugs but say yes to naturally sourced neurotransmitters. There is no legal way to say this. Just exercise. 

Get creative- Make something. Reproduce a recipe. Make a smoothie. Play with watercolor. Mould with clay. Try paper mâché ...actually don't. Don't try paper mâché, it's too much trouble. Try writing. It's cheap, doesn't require wifi or battery power, just paper and a pen. 

Work hard at work. Being productive is a great way to be distracted during a heart break. 

Don't bother going window shopping it just adds a huge list to the things you can't have right now, including him. Instead, look through you closet and wear your favorite clothing. Dressing up is known for achieving great moral boosts! So wear your "christmas" clothes. Well, unless they remind you of him and are now in the forget-you box (see point 2). 

Indulge in ice-cream.... I'm kidding. Lol. Do not indulge in any ice cream. I don't know who came up with this ridiculous "eat your feelings" jibberish. You will gain weight. It's that simple. Weight you don't need. And weight that will get you a muffin top. No muffin tops, guys. Exes always come back to the scene of the crime! And guess who will now look like she has a mushroom cap in place of a waist. 

Most importantly, talk to God, he mends hearts. You don't need a monthly plan or recharge card. He's right there. He's listening. 

Ever tried to get over someone on a budget? If you have any more break-up budget tips, please share below! 







The obvious solution to Doze-Praying

The obvious solution to Doze-Praying