My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

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Letters to my Greatgrand daughter: This Panty business

Dear Charly,

Imagine you are hanging out with  two girls; maybe colleagues, friends, acquaintances of yours. They are whispering, giggling and shuffling their feet excitedly. They seem to be speaking in some form of coded lingo, you watch their eyes twinkle as they continue in this undiluted state of delight.

You notice one of the girls has something concealed in her clenched right fist. She quickly shoves it into the pocket of the other girl. They squeal and giggle animatedly. They both look into their pockets. They, apparently, both have this thing evoking such a buzz. They glance at you briefly, contemplating whether to let you in on the subject.

What did they both have in their pockets? What was so exciting? You are mildly intrigued. With every giggle, you become more aware of how far out of the loop you are. The more they whisper, the further your chances of joining in this sweet celebration. A smile tugs at your lips as you wonder what this buzz could be about.

 They tease you by peeking into their pockets at the shrouded mystical enigma. You are on the verge of bursting with anticipation.Overwhelmed with suspense, you beg them to show it to you.

"I'll keep it a secret, I promise." you say.

A part of you knows you won't. 

After a while, one of them pulls it out of her pocket. Two lacy briefs. Dirty. Discolored. Worn. A little stinky too. You recoil in disgust but still you lean in, curious. Why were they keeping dirty underwear in their pockets?  Then the initial panty-bearer tells you one weird fact after another about these underwears. 

First, they are not hers. At this point you are certain you will be sick.

Second, she got them from some else (who also isn't the owner either). 

Third, she is willing to hand them to you too. You could be a proud owner! One filthy lacy pair of briefs which doesn't belong to you! She shoves one into your pocket. You stagger back. You can't bring yourself to bring it out of your pocket. It was disgusting and it smelt....bad. The other girl seemed accustomed to this panty-business. She brings it out and hurriedly goes to show it another group of girls nearby.

Charly, I will say this once, stay away from people who peddle other people's dirty laundry. It really is as gross as I have described. If it's someone else's mess then it sure shouldn't be in your pocket. Learn to mind your own business. Actually, love to mind your own business; your daily mundane tasks, your celebrations and your mistakes. If you don't, you will easily develop a taste for gossip and relish all the flavors it packs, not to mention your own issues will go unattended to.  

The great thing about gossip peddlers is that they are easy to spot! Usually from one conversation with them, you can tell they have a social and emotional impotence which they try to plug by gossiping and rummaging through laundry bags.  Be aloof to gossip, it makes you unapproachable to peddlers. Rebuff every conversation that skids off track into the dark alleys of idle chatter. If you can't decipher what gossip is ask yourself, if it is your business. If you need to ask if a subject is really your business, it most probably isn't. Learn to respect information given to you. Do not pass it on.

Fact: Gossip is caustic. It eats into lives, relationships and your reputation.

Do not put yourself in a position where stale panties are shoved in your pocket. 

Don't be the grapevine, don't be the wee little birdie and most importantly don't play in a pile of some else's dirty laundry. Uber-eww.


Greatgran x


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