The Sex Recession
Millennials are having less sex than previous generations. I never would have guessed. Apparently, it appears the sexagenarians and septuagenarians are steaming things up more than we are! Now seeing that generation in a new light. That’s way too much light. I officially can’t look at them the same again. Nope. Our parents, aunties, uncles. Presidents. Blindfold me, please! *Insert bird box reference*
From observation though (not research), I’m sure generation X isn’t doing too badly either.
Generation X had Keith Sweat and Jodeci crooning into their ears in their teenage and young adult years. They are bound to still be reeling from all that—Usher taking it nice and slow; Another level trying to lick something*stare*; Ginuwine’s pony. Enough said. It was Steamatopia with those guys.
So what’s going on with millennials?
Apart from our lack of songs laden with sexual innuendos and contrasting verbal cues, the truth is, millennials are busy. We may be the most achievement-oriented, self-actualizing generation that ever lived under the sun. There’s too much to be done. Goals. Checklists. Agendas. Breakfasts on the move. Presentations. Walking lunches. Meetings. Networking drinks. More checklists, ticking goals off, having apps that tick them off. It’s the life. There are targets to be hit, creative juices to be channeled, entrepreneurial heights to be surpassed, a whole continent of terra nillus in innovation and business to be claimed. Millennials are busy building empires(for other people and themselves), meeting deadlines and turning in deliverables. They are not interested in riding ponies or licking anything. Well, they are happy to fight along with animal protection for injustice against ponies or any other animal in the equine family and beyond by clicking to sign a petition. But that’s as ‘pony’ as they plan to get.
Millennials are at work, trying to get ahead, reinventing the rat race, roller-blading down those green tracks.
Small wins and big wins are the new O.
There is some good in all of this though. Reported sexual abuse is at an all time low! How wonderful is this? I guess pervs are elsewhere doing other things—maybe laughing hysterically to memes on Instagram or learning to knit on Youtube or to cook on Yummly.
I wonder what other effects this recession may have:
Will the prices of condoms and contraception plummet? Will there be a reduction in contracted STDs? Will the porn industry see a boost in demand? Will the sale of sex toys reach an all time high? I hope human trafficking nose-dives and crashes. Traffickers will have to find a day job or diversify into selling caffeinated confectionaries and energy bars. Shrug. Business idea, trafficker. Thank me later. Let your victims go and put together a business plan!
I guess in all of this, I am proud that the sexagenarians and septuagenarians are getting it on at least. Those guys, even though they are still trying to figure out Skyping within the frame, they really are troopers where it counts.
What are your thoughts? Any other reasons you think millennials are choosing to skip sex?