When Opposites Attract| What To Know When Loving An Extrovert or Introvert
So you fell in love with someone who is completely different from you. Surprise! No surprise there, actually, a good number of us find ourselves attracted to people who are fundamentally different from us. The further they are from us on the temperament spectrum, the more googly and starry our eyes become. Num.
Opposites attract; we bond over our similarities, and are fascinated by our differences. Extroverts, for some reason, find introverts mysteriously hot, while introverts find extroverts colorfully entertaining, and like the opposite ends of a magnet, *snap* we stick. This isn't always the case as you know, but you and I can agree that we know at least 250,346,000 couples living out this extrovert-meets-introvert love story.
It's awesome being with someone who is different, it provides experiences you never would have had otherwise. One of you likes to party, while the other loves the couch, then you get the best of both worlds! One of you loves to be around family, friends and even family of friends, and the other loves the company of the wall (In fact, maybe you've caught him smiling at the wall a few times) Well, best of both worlds again; sometimes, you could both hang out with people, and sometimes, you could both smile at the wall.
I took the Myers Briggs test a few years ago and it turns out I'm both an introvert and extrovert. I'm a hybrid of some sort, so that explains a lot. Lol. Ed is the star of the show because he has to know when to switch methods of loving me. I decided to write this post on how to love your introvert or extrovert because I'm a hybrid and I get the complexity of all of this. Stay with me.
First, let's get this out there—there is nothing wrong with your introvert or extrovert. If she is a couch-lover and you always know where the party is at, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with this person you love, in fact, you'll find that you complement each other quite well. If your extrovert loves to host friends and strangers at your dinner table every weekend, there's nothing wrong with that either, it's a personality type and is part of what makes him the person you love. The strangers though...(can't help you there).
In these cases when opposites attract, it's usually important to accept the person the way he or she is, cherish your similarities and celebrate your differences.
It makes your experience all the richer—walls, strangers and all. Let's assume your introvert is a "He" and our extrovert is a "She". Here are some important tips on how to love them:
How to love your introvert
#1 Accept him (there is nothing wrong with being reclusive) Don't try to make him an extrovert, that's not who he is.
#2 Let him have his own space. Respect the space
#3 Never criticize him publicly
#4 Never demand to settle a quarrel on the spot. Internalizing is a bid deal to introverts. Let him walk through the process. He'll speak eventually.
#5 Listen when he finally starts to speak, read between the lines and clarify after he is done communicating. Clarify after, not during, it may disrupt the internalizing and thought process and then in goes Mr. Turtle into his shell.
#6 Make time for him
#7 Celebrate him privately (I feel like some extroverts like to be celebrated publicly as well). However, if he really doesn't like being center of attention, keep it private.
#8 Acknowledge his arrival in public with very little ruckus, nothing to draw attention!
#9 Don't let him feel left out during conversations with other people, ask what his opinion is. Acknowledge his contribution.
How to love your extrovert
#1 Accept her (there is nothing wrong with being gregarious) Don't try to make her into an introvert, she'll grow defensive and weird.
#2 Let her fly! Extroverts love to be around people, they feed off the energy of congregated parties, you might need to make some adjustments to learn to tolerate having lots of people in your space(lol)
#3 Praise your extrovert publicly and let her hear you do it
#4 Let her do her thing, whether it's to travel or hang out or host multitudes at your home
#5 Don't guilt trip her when she returns from doing her thing (very important, it contradicts #6)
#6 Support her activities. Buy her a ticket to Maui, make her multitude feel welcome at your home, party sometimes
#7 Let her know she is the life of the party
#8 Let her know she is the life of your party (*cue* awww)
#9 Be happy to see her in private and in public and show how happy you are!
Are you an introvert or extrovert? How do you like to be loved? How do you love yours?