The Retirement of A Melodramatic Feminist
Once upon a time, I was a feminist. I wasn't born a feminist though. Long story; a guy broke my heart, danced on it, put it in a blender and poured it down the drain. Suddenly, I hated men. I hated them all (which makes very little sense, as it was just one man with whom I had an issue, and who I was fairly certain was evil personified). Still, they were all the enemy- these men. "They are all the same!" That was my chorus and "I will survive" was my anthem. They thought I'd crumble, they thought I'd lay down and die, O no not I!
Suddenly, I was very determined to make "my own money" and be financially independent; intentionally financially unattached to any man...except my dad, of course. Love you, dad! [That ended at some point though. Lol]
I was a different type of feminist- the hypocritical kind, whose adherence to feminism was developed from my bitterness and innate desire for revenge, and to be above men in every endeavor- an insincere kind of feminism.
All of a sudden, I wanted rights for women. I was now concerned if women in country A had access to education and freedom. I cared if country B prevented women from buying property. I cared if a woman was being abused down the street. If my friend complained about her boyfriend..."Break up with him." I'd say, not batting an eyelid.
It was really interesting watching my hurt morph into this weird caricature of feminism. True, I never burnt my bra or went days with shaving my underarms or shredded my wig, still, it was fun joining the band wagon.
If I could travel back in time and see myself back then, I'd tell myself that feminism isn't a game. It isn't a tool to whack men over the head or a balm to ease my pulverized heart but a platform for the avocation of dignity, respect and freedom for all women.
If I could see the old me, I'd tell her that men aren't the enemy, they never were; that the enemy is ignorance. Ignorance in every sense of the word; ignorance of men who pulverize hearts for fun, my ignorance for not being streetwise, my ignorance of not having important information about this heart breaker person before diving in, as for the society, their ignorance of the benefits of celebrating and supporting women.
Years ago, I put an end to being vindictive and my resentment towards men evaporated, with that came a new understanding.
My discomfort was negligible in comparison to little girls prevented from going to school, women who are abused just down the street, and single mums who are discriminated against. Yes, my feelings were justified but not the most appropriate fuel for the vehicle of fighting injustice.
And so in my retirement, I decided to revise this whole feminist thing. I decided that I don't need a title to solve injustice. All I'd ever need is a heart which isn't self-centered. A heart that does not muddle up compassion with hate and revenge. A heart that is truly compassionate and pure. A heart that longs to serve- with that I will solve injustice one woman at a time.
Have you ever been in this pseudo-feminism bubble? What are your thoughts? Ever wondered how to get information about someone you are dating? Download your PGI inquisition form here!