Real Stories #7: Retired Chauvinists, Love and Skoin-Skoin
I've always been mysterious. I was one of those guys who had everyone guessing who his girlfriend was. It was customary for me to be seen with a lot of 'remarkably pretty girls' without actually being with anyone of them. I wouldn’t say I was a player or a demon, though people might have lazily classified me as such.
Contrary to what outsiders thought, I was actually struggling to ‘seal the deal’. Lol. I was one confused fellow and thought I knew what I wanted in a girlfriend, but in retrospect, I simply had no clue and what's more interesting, is the fact that I had rather unrealistic expectations. The only constant thing in my non-existent love life then, was my attraction to complicated people, people who have what is popularly referred to as ‘skoin-skoin’. Simply put, if the girl was deemed to be a normal person by me, then I simply wouldn’t be interested. I still can’t figure out why. Was it the thrill of the challenge of deciphering what made her tick and then go cukoo-cukoo? Maybe I'm a little 'skoined' too? *shrug*
The interesting thing is that these skoin-skoin girls always seemed to like me, but whenever it came down to the real deal; it was always one excuse or the other;
‘Let me pray about it’,
‘I don’t know',
'I am not ready yet, but I feel like I will be soon’,
‘I need to consult great grandmother in the village',
Okay, no one said the great grandmother bit but you get what I mean. Boy, it was frustrating! I sure had this unparalleled ability to pick those girls and inflict pain on myself in the process… Wait! Eureka! That’s it! I know why now, I am probably a Masochist! It’s the pain, I loved the pain! What makes it worse was I had quite a number of beautiful, decent NORMAL ‘take-home-to-mama’ girls who were willing to be my Miss, but I was never willing to go down the dating path with them. How dare they think I would? Didn’t they know they were too normal for me? *hiss*
Lessons learnt dating.
I learnt that arrogance and dating don’t mix. I grew up around several "macho" uncles who were world-class players, disrespected their women and were quick to stamp their authority all over situations. Right, so I must have grown up a little chauvinistic, resisting vulnerability and compromise in my relationships. I wasn’t going to be disrespected by any girl, they all had to know who was boss. Anytime a girl I was dating gave me mixed signals, my next reaction was to kiss her goodbye. How could she? No one disrespects the boss! What I didn’t realize was that they were just being ‘women’, sometimes they don’t mean what they say. They want you to fight for them (I still think their wahala is too much sha). It’s really incredible how I thought I knew women and later realized I knew absolutely NOTHING about women.
One thought that constantly comes to mind now is how my uncles probably would have gone back to kneel down and beg (and even cry sef) their girls back in privacy of their rooms, while giving me the impression that they were the greatest macho-men around! I learnt that women are complicated, and to the brothers out there, don’t bother trying to understand them, lest you run mad; but the key is patience.
I also learnt that a woman typically has two different natures; the Angel and the Scary, Scorned, Vengeful Angry Bird. The part you see or experience largely depends on how you treat your woman. Nurture her, treat her well, and you have yourself the angel, always.
This is story #7 of the "Dating Like Crazy" series (read #6, #5, #4, #3, #2 and #1 ). This article was written by an anonymous contributor. Please note that this is a real story, please comment kindly. Thanks.
Ever been attracted to skoin-skoin traits? Makes it interesting doesn't it?