My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

I blog about Relationships, God and Style!

About Pages by Ike

Pages by Ike is a safe space that fosters learning and growth in unison through un-sober reflections! No pretension. No judgement.

About you

Would love to know about you, please drop a message here!


Real Stories #8: Notes To Read On The Dating Roller Coaster!

Real Stories #8: Notes To Read On The Dating Roller Coaster!


Hi, people! My name is .... o wait, I am supposed to be anonymous. Ike asked me to write a few things that I have learnt on my dating journey. I have written them in notes-to-self style. I hope my notes help someone else out there! Whenever you get question mark symbols floating above your head and heart about certain issues, flip back to this post, it just might help! Best wishes on that wild, dating roller coaster and holla if you see me. O wait...I'm anonymous. This anonymous thing is tricky. Hmmn.

Let's jump right in:

  1. If the kissing is poor, making out will be nothing more than poor *cringe*
  2. Not every relationship will end in marriage
  3. Don't superimpose another relationship on yours. No two relationships are the same
  4. Don’t date out of pity. You will be wasting everyone's time
  5. Don’t do trial-dating either (it’s a trial because one party isn't interested)
  6. Communicate. Engage. Understand.
  7. Be empathetic, try to see from the other person's point of view...
  8. ...but don’t drop your standards because you are trying to be empathetic.
  9. Find the 'mumu*' button and use it well *grins*
  10. Let your 'No' be 'No', have some self-respect and you'll avoid being taken for granted.
  11. Be friends, play games, challenge each other, laugh together, be rivals, pray together.
  12. Always, always express how you feel, be vulnerable, be happy, be yourself, be angry, be emotional, be irritable, be cranky, be hungry, be everything that makes you you. The sooner he knows everything about you, the better.
  13. Maintain eye contact (it spells intimacy).
  14. Don’t lie; some lies don’t follow you to the grave. And if you guys end up together, you might confess mistakenly.
  15. If there’s anything that bothers him that you do, consider compromise, if its doable.
  16. ..but don’t compromise your happiness for someone else’s. Be happy, be selfish! Muhaha. Ok, don't be selfish but understand the concept of compromise and apply it wisely.
  17. If you can't imagine spending the rest of your life with him, don’t make out and definitely don’t have sex with him.

*mumu: in this context mumu means lovingly taking advantage of your S.O's affections for you. It's not as twisted as it sounds. Let's rephrase, lovingly and effectively channeling your S.O's affections for you to the things you care about so that he spends his romantic energy wisely. Take that Merriam Webster!

This is story #8 of the "Dating Like Crazy" series (read #7, #6, #5#4#3#2 and #1 ). This article was written by an anonymous contributor. Please note that this is a real story, please comment kindly. Thanks.

Made for Grey

Made for Grey

Real Stories #7: Retired Chauvinists, Love and Skoin-Skoin

Real Stories #7: Retired Chauvinists, Love and Skoin-Skoin