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My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

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Sliding into Her DM: Are you Making these Mistakes?

Sliding into Her DM: Are you Making these Mistakes?

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I personally applaud and respect any man who has the courage to walk up to a girl or slide into her DM(Direct message) or even send her a love note. It takes courage and a sweet dose of vulnerability and confidence to do any of these.

"Sliding into DMs", for those who don't know, is the way millennials "walk up to a girl and ask for her 'digits'."It's just how the kids do it these days. You see her, send her a direct message, start a relationship, #ShesaidYes, wham...family portrait!

My friend is planning on sliding into a girl's DM soon. I'm so excited and oh...have we mapped out his strategy or what! Hehe. *rubbing hands together mischievously*. He has been watching her for weeks and is like the ultimate cyberstalker. He knows what she likes, who she hangs with, where she hangs out, what she listens to. Don't call the cops, we just want to have a friendly conversation ... and a family portrait! Lol.

Some people find DM-sliding a little offensive, because, well, it shows that the guy, like my friend, has been stalking them a little, which on some level is a little worrisome...flattering...but worrisome all the same.

I haven't successfully stalked and dated a guy off the internet, so I can't give you a step-by-step process of how to slay cyber-stalking so well that you'd end up at the altar but I can tell you a few things than might turn women off, if you do choose to slide.

Here goes: 

Sliding in on LinkedIn (1)

So, you are on LinkedIn for no particular reason, you absent-mindedly hit the "my network" widget at the bottom. LinkedIn readily provides a long list of people who you might know but you honestly have no clue who they are. You begin to scroll through the awkward smiles, ambitious suits and professional mugshots.

Scroll.

Scroll.

Suddenly your thumb goes stiff. You see the prettiest girl, with the fullest lips and the most captivating frozen stare, gazing out from the most beautiful face you've ever seen! Naturally, your blood begins to boil. You skim quickly through her profile. Hmmn, impressive. Your suspended thumb begins to quiver and hover over the Inmail button.

 Don’t!

Whatever you do, DO NOT slide into her Inmail.

I know, a lot of people meet their significant others on social media. However, LinkedIn is a professional platform. The mission of LinkedIn is "to connect the world's professionals to make them more productive and successful"....which has nothing to do with her lips or her stare or your love life.

There are other platforms that would provide the right mood for your advances: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. You can look for her on those platforms but not LinkedIn. LinkedIn is so professional that any guy who hits on a girl there looks like he's "idle", which is like profanity within a professional setting. Don't be that guy. Find her on Facebook or Instagram. Of course, that also takes some skill, otherwise, you'd be deleted, unfriended and blocked in one flick of her wrist.

 Using words of endearment at-first-DM (2)

Using the words like damsel, bae, baby, bo, boo, sexy, beautiful, lovely or any term of endearment in your introductory statement is a "Nah"; also telling her she's pretty or sexy or you think "you are in love" is also a little invasive, to say the least.

It's like walking up to her physically and saying those words to her face. You'll get a long hiss and a feisty rendition of Megan Trainhor's "No".

Typing just the word "Hi" and nothing else (3)

If she's that attractive, chances are that you aren't the only slider. "Hi" is great, it's definitely better than "Sexy Damsel", however, don't just send Hi.  No kidding, our first response is usually 👀 . Introduce yourself briefly and comment on a recent post of hers- a friendly, not-too-familiar comment. Also don't say "I want to be your friend." That line has been worked to death.

Liking everything on her timeline posted since 2005 (4)

What can I say? You just have to stalk with style.

Having a record of cyber bullying or aggression (5)

The internet never forgets! Muhaha. One day that brash, harsh comment you made on someone's profile will come back like a bad rash; and just in time to blow your chance of getting with this girl you like.

Having a boring profile (6)

This includes outdated grainy profile photos from 2006 (even worse, no profile photo at all). If you are putting yourself out there by sliding into her DM, then go all the way! Give her something to look at! A nice photograph does wonders.

The whole essence, in summary, is to stalk with stealth. Introduce yourself, be pleasant, clever and witty. Try not to like all the photos she has ever put up since 2009. Remember, stealth. Study her. If she responds to your introductory message, send a follow-up message. Still no endearment, please. You have it from here. Chat with her without flirting until she shows some form of interest. If she doesn't show any, keep scrolling! There's a girl out there in the huge expanse of cyberspace for you, with whom might be the possible chance of a family portrait!

Wish you the very best in your stalking endeavors!

Hey, do you get LinkedIn slide-ins? What are your thoughts on romantically-inclined direct messaging?

Related posts: Why phone-dating isn't as bad as it sounds; Dating by referral;  How to get her to be ready for your date on time

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