8 Life-Love Skills to Teach Our sons
Before my sons jump out the front door and begin life as godly, independent, skillful, ground-breakingly smart and attractively hot members of the society, I'd love to teach them a few life skills. I feel like girls get to be taught all the soft skills and the guys get left out. Well, that shouldn't be, plus they aren't just soft skills but actual life-preserving skills especially #1, #3 and #8. I'd really appreciate if you could contribute to the list. Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. How to bake a mean cake (and cook Efo riro and sea food gumbo,oh and to clean up)
Nothing beats the acquisition of the basic life skills that keep you alive-cooking and good hygiene. Tag us as cheap and having low standards, but every girl loves a guy who can cook. As early as he can learn, teach your son the value of being able to boil more than just an egg. Any guy who can evoke gustatory-ecstasy and clean, please make him president.
2. How to be proud of his identity (and his passport)
The decision to understand and embrace our identities is reflected in our speech, actions and eventually in our children. They listen to us intently, and the mould their psyche and values around those expressions. No matter where you are from, you were destined to be a nova and to impact lives because you are from that part of the planet. If your son can understand that he can be relevant in whatever community he finds himself using his innate skills and identity, then it only makes you a proud parent and the world a better place!
3. That he must forget the stiffy and let her go at the slightest stiffen (and that 'No' means 'No'. Seriously)
"Iassumed that she was playing hard to get. You know how 'No' really means 'Yes'?" That's the opening statement for many rapists as they get debriefed by their lawyers. A statement based on the most unreasonable assumptions. We need to teach our sons that the slightest show of reluctance from a woman means "back off". Honestly, even if she comes back begging and naked, umm...sorry, keep stepping.
4. How to serve (and buy someone else a pair of sneaks for a change)
The best leaders are servants. The worst of them are self-centered, selfish, concerned about their own gain and wait around to be served. Boys, from, a very young age must learn to serve others, be responsible for younger children and their community. Imagine a world where we all teach our kids leadership skills from their toddler years, to care, share and honor others!
5. How to compromise (and the art of putting down the toilet seat, sometimes)
God, in all his wisdom put us in Eden, a place of pleasure which included no toilet seats and doors. Closing door(including microwave doors) and putting down the toilet seat are two things men are known to struggle with. Is it ever too early to teach sons to close doors? I think learning to pee standing and trying to aim already proves exciting enough for them, so putting down the seat is sometimes overlooked and they fail to learn. I plan to teach my son how to compromise or we might just settle it by having swing-doors...do they make swing toilet seats?
6. How to check out a girl and talk to her
Ed says his dad taught him and his brother the art of scoping and sizing up girls! Lol. Of course, both sons and even dad have differing preferences but he taught them to set their preference standards first, when they find the right girl, then, they follow through. I thought that was cool, men should have standards too. Make sure your son's game is tight.
7. How to handle heartbreak, move on (and cry like a boss)
Contrary to general opinion, men aren't getting any younger either and even though they don't have any biological eggs turning into omelettes, their time is also precious. Teach your son to value himself and to know when to initiate his exit strategy in unfavorable, unhealthy situations and relationships. Also teach him that it's ok to cry, that being heartbroken doesn't make him any less of a man and that getting drunk and hung over probably makes it a little worse...especially if he had omelettes the night before.
8. How to be faithful
How do you teach a son not to be a two-timing nuisance that ends up being lynched by 17+ women? I guess as a parent, the best you can do is to reward honesty, teach them to respect commitment and to be emotionally intelligent.
Of course, as parents, we won't be there to teach our kids these things in real time and as they need them, but from their early ages until they grow a weird mustache, a full Moses beard and choose to leave home, we must teach them to be principled, rational, strong yet accessible, endowed with culinary prowess and a heightened sense of honesty and service.
So, I'm not a parent yet but I'm learning to plan ahead and be prepared! Could you help me populate the space below with skills that can be passed down to little boys? Do you agree with the 8 skills? Which is most relevant to you?