How to Make Eye-Contact without Getting Kissed
Making eye contact during a conversation increases the quality of your conversation by at least a hundred percent. It's one of the most powerful non-physical connections we, as living beings, could have. People who are able to make eye contact, are seen as confident, trustworthy, interesting, (as well as interested) and they are generally perceived as amicable. Now, it’s not the easiest feat, this eye-contact business. It takes a lot of conscious determination and practice, for those who are working their way to adopting it into their lifestyle.
I remember when I was learning to maintain eye contact during conversations, i would look into the person's eyes for as long as i can, then give my eyes a break by letting my eyes fall lazily to the person's lips and i'd watch the person's mouth move as they spoke, then look back into the person's eyes..........whatever you do, do not use that technique ever! One day, i was talking with this guy and i kept doing that eye-lip stare, the next thing i know, he's leaning in to kiss me! I guess i should have expected it. I probably also had plastered on my lips a default zoned-out smile. Smiling at another person's lips with a smile and a distant look is like waving a Fuschia flag, yelling 'Kiss me'.
Since then, I've tried to maintain just the eye contact, no more lazy eye-lip glares. Making eye contact and maintaining it makes conversations more personal and engaging, enabling both parties to benefit from the conversation maximally. That's what you want, beneficial conversations....... not kiss-attacks! Below are some tips that helped me learn to maintain eye-contact, hope it helps!
- Put away the phone, that's number one! It wasn't number one a decade ago but it is now. Eye contact with your phone during a conversation isn't pleasant.
- Look straight into the person's eyes, whether a cashier, interviewer, friend, until you notice the person's eye color and then say to yourself, 'Her eyes are green!' Remain in that space for as long as you can, while listening, break the eye contact for a split second by looking at something else (not the lips), then look back into her eyes.
- Also you might want to avoid complimenting the person's eyes unless you are trying to get kissed with that as well! Gosh, the mistakes I've made!
- I've found that giving a firm handshake at the beginning and leading the conversation or at least being active in the conversation works with maintaining attention and eye-contact.
Try these out and in no time, you'll be staring everyone out of this galaxy! Try not to stare too hard though. It gets creepy after a while. Umm, and remember to blink.
How well do you maintain eye-contact? Do your eyes wander all over the person's face? Please comment below! Commenting just got easier!