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My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

I blog about Relationships, God and Style!

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20 Practical Tips to manage Love Spats

20 Practical Tips to manage Love Spats

In an ideal world, you and bae would do nothing all day other than eat shiny apples from mystically named trees, swim in shimmery rivers and run around absolutely naKed. However, earth-to-us, that's not the case. Relationships in the real world are great...until a disagreement pops up. Several people believe that having too many fights might erode the quality of a relationship, but this isn't what science tells us. In a study, it was observed that the health of a relationship does not depend solely on the frequency of quarrels but on the method and technique of resolving issues. In fact, another study argues that conflicts arise as a result of a lack of conflict management skills in a relationship.

Skills. Conflict management. Misunderstandings. Science. *Chin in palm* If only someone would write a blog post on how to practically apply conflict management skills to love spats, so we can get back to the naKed part....

Say no more, here are 20 practical tips on resolving relationship conflicts- any conflict really. 

1. Make the conscious effort to remain calm. [This is the 1st bottleneck of the spat. Once you do, it only becomes easier]

2. Identify the main root of the fight and the cause of irritation. If you are passive aggressive itmight take a little longer [bottleneck 2]

3. Be eager to resolve the problem

4. Speak only when your partner is calm too

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Now the fun part (who is going to break the silence...a post for another day!) There's always one person who can tolerate the silence less, if that's you congratulate yourself and give yourself a little wink...you might be the more mature one, you might also be the one who gets to the resolution finish line faster, so don't feel sad you always have to break the ice.

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5. Do not respond based ONLY on your point of view

6. Do not try to punish. Punishment is the other side of naKed. We don't want that.

7. Think: How do we move on from here?

8. Don't play the victim

9. Think clearly

10. Do not throw the solution of the problem at your partner. Let him/ her work through it and find a solution with minimal guidance

11. Respect your differences

12. Be humorous

13. Listen

14. Explain your point of view in a clear and respectful way

15. Keep your voice down

16. No name calling, no blaming, no nagging, no visiting the past or parochial conclusions

17. No, it's never too late now to say Sorry🎶

18. Address every issue in isolation , none of that "This is just like last time......" or "you always.....", "You never" 

19. Forgive. Like it never happened. 

20. x and makeup

Misunderstandings are just an expression of different needs that long to be met, usually expressed in mismatched voices and perfect scowls. I hope this post helps ease the scowls!

Have a great weekend xx

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