My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

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How to Give Advice

 #1 Don't




*Supposed End of post*


What do you think though? Do you give advice often? How does it play out? How often is your 2 cents really appreciated, especially in complicated situations; take advising a mistress or side-chic as an example. If you know any, do you honestly think she'd take your advice?

Side-chics get advised more often than a juvenile delinquent. Everyone wants to chip in and tell Stella that dating the married guy is suicide....and in some cases, Stella, it is. It really is. Don't say we didn't tell you.

The best thing to do in my opinion is not to advice or at least learn to advice properly; whether financial, career, marital, weight management, parenting advice. It has to be done right. It takes a lot of maturity and self-control to effectively advice a person and have the person really listen and see your point. Seeing someone doing something wrong and taking the time to provide reasonable, loving advice takes ALOT.  If you insist that #1 is not an option and this person is really important to you, ensure its done right and read on!

#2 Have the right motive: Your motive should be to encourage, to lift, not to tear down. Your advice should be communicated in love and with the utmost respect, not with malice or in derision. If your motive is to show that  you are superior, or to scorn or to gloat refer to #1


#3 Don't speak without planning out your thoughts. The great thing about thoughts is that they reflect themselves in your speech. If you aren't coming from a good place, it definitely will be obvious in your choice of words. Sort your mind out first before talking to someone else about their issues.


#4 Never ever start off with "I told you so" or "You should know better" or "A word of advice". Those conversation-starters are dynamite! They get a person defensive and slight impenetrable to your well-wishing words.


#5 Be patient. People don't naturally like advice, so take it slowly, very slowly and speak plainly. If you aren't a patient person, don't bother; refer to #1


#6 If you really must advice, make sure it's not condescending

We aren't any better than anyone else. We are just privy to some information which we are fortunate to be able to share. If "Condescending" is your middle name, refer to #1 

Did I miss anything? Share below! 

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