Questions to Ask Before Getting into a Relationship || Plus Download PGI's Fun Relationship Inquiry form
Starting a new relationship is arguably the 7th best feeling in the world ("7th" is totally random, btw). You would agree with me that it's a pretty awesome feeling; the sunshine, the birds, the butterflies, the palpitating cardiac muscles. Experienced it a few times myself, and every time was just as exciting and delightful as the last. I call this stage of dating the "New Bae Fever". The law of diminishing returns doesn't set in until your 73rd New Bae Fever. That's a lot of baes! Phew! Really, on a roll with my random numbers today.
At this stage, blinded by the sunlight and confused by the butterflies, we tend to make one very common mistake; the mistake of assumptions. As human beings, we make assumptions about situations, about people, about love, about people we love. We make assumptions about these people who give us butterflies and then never make any attempt to clarify those assumptions because we don’t want our florid, made-believe imaginations about this person to be false. That, of course, is a great way to love-in-ignorance, which really is as worrisome as it sounds.
Many times oblivious lovers get smacked on the head with information their Significant Other conveniently forgot to mention, for example, undeclared children or a secret family; like that time I met Collin (not his real name) who had a family in another town and thought I might make an awesome "girlfriend" *rme* He definitely forgot to mention his family. Women are equally full of surprises, we all know that. All the She-Collins out there!
No matter how much you think you love surprises, these types really suck. So how do you avoid these awful surprises, then?
By caging the chirping birds, stilling those cardiac muscles and asking questions. Questions give answers. Answers provide data. Our minds and brains process data, and provide information. Information helps us make better decisions. Best decisions are required in love! Please don’t ever be shy to ask a question. If he/she thinks you are interrogating him/her, then he/she should go ahead and interrogate right back. We all have skeletons chilling in our closets, dying to get out. It's a trade, you have to give skeletons to know skeletons. Lol. If you decide to be with someone, ensure that you ask questions. Hopefully they tell the truth and declare their past. But don't wait around for that, make inquires, you have every right to snoop and conduct as much research as you want. The more research and questions you ask, the less likely you'd be celebrating a 73rd New Bae Fever-a-thon.
Ps: If you have a past, there’s really no need to hide, it's either this person takes all of you or not. It's only fair on them, if you are honest, and it's fair on you because you get a chance at true acceptance. Plus, honesty is sexy. It just is. Of course, a person’s past shouldn't be used to judge her future but it should be shared with someone she claims to love, so he knows what he's getting into and has the freedom to choose and make sound decisions concerning the events that could occur.
Here’s a 5 page form which was a joke initially, but really has several important questions we forget to ask people we are about to date or are currently dating. Ed and I are answering ours tonight. LOL! It should be fun. There's a printable version available at the end. Do you get shy asking questions? Any Collins or She-Collins ever swing your way?