Why "Yoruba Demons" are Here to Stay
Here's a conversation between my friend and I:
My friend: I enter wedding receptions these days and everywhere I turn, I see "Yoruba demons"
Me: *laughing uncontrollably*
My friend: Yes, o! And they always look so good! Fresh, with their full beards, wearing their black native and staring at you from behind their sunglasses
Me: Ehn just don't look at them na, sit down far far away from them
My friend: *sighs ruefully*
Me: *Sigh in solidarity because I know how we girls do like the quintessential bad boy*
Fact: Girls love them some Yoruba demons. We like the psycho ones that stare at us from behind the dark lenses; the ones who make us feel uneasy and uncertain; the guy that says like 5 words per day , that smells like a Tom Ford lab and throws us an occasional side grin. Yes, The one that uses his eyeball-print as the passcode to his phone and has at least 3 aliases- Jimi on the mainland, Jay-Eye on the island and Jim off the shores of Nigeria.
As for the simple, nice guys with the ready grin, one universal name and no passcode on his phone....... though, bleh, not so much.
Why? Why do we tend to fall for the no-good demon and ignore the good guy?
A study shows that we like bad boys because our minds think they might make good fathers for our kids.... I know, they lost me there too. Here's the weird biological explanation.
Women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys are confident, assertive, exciting and the biological interpretation of this to the female mind is that these confident, assertive creatures will produce after their kind, that is, produce confident, assertive children who have a better chance of surviving on the planet. Remember "survival of the fittest", this principle is engrained into our biological psyche and our decision-making process unknowingly depend on it in this case. Somewhere in our minds, the Bad boy is the alpha male and we are drawn to him because we believe he will give us viable offspring that will survive the elements.
Basically at the root of this is the need to procreate and multiply.
Note that in theory, women say they want a nice, adorable guy; the type of guy who treats his girl like a queen and loves her for who she is. But in reality, what she really wants is to fall into the clutches of a bad bad bad boy who will turn her mind to mush and give her demon babies that survive the elements!
That's just jacked up. Lol.
Then the plot thickens, a study shows that we get more to attracted to bad boys when we are ovulating! Tsk! Your own body trying to set you up to be a single parent. I can't believe it. We really are our own worst enemies.
So, if there is a wide-eyed nice guy and a Yoruba demon up for grabs, chances are that the more aggressive guy-demon will be chosen and nice guy gets the bench. The warm friendship bench.
Girls are not stupid though, we know you are bad....so as sharp girls who want to eat their demon and have it, we choose to fix the bad boy; we want him to go to church with us, join the ushering department and submit his phone password. Just like that!
We want Bad boy to retire because we suddenly show up on the scene. It doesn't work that way. You'll realize this once you discover that you can't get the leopard to go spotless or to wear velvet. Demons don't change. I don't know where we get this change idea from.
I blame Disney movies for this false understanding of the concept of change in relationships. There's an implicit understanding that change is guaranteed once you get into a relationship with someone. For example, Beauty and the Beast, the guy changed because she showed up and kissed him; the little Mermaid, she kissed him and changed into a human to be with the guy; Tarzan ditched his hot signature loin cloth for a suit at some point. Since we were kids, fairy tales have been tied to the "He will change. Kiss him, he will change". Ain't no demon changing here. He won't change. If you do kiss him, you'll probably change-into a mum, a single mum thanks to your ovulating ovaries. Sigh. Girls won't stop liking the demons, they are here to stay. As for the good boys, 1 in 3 will eventually become a demon and we'll all live happily ever after.