Follow

Hi.

My name is Ike. I am a writer. I drink way too much herbal tea and believe in the power of kindness, love and a good book.

I blog about Relationships, God and Style!

About Pages by Ike

Pages by Ike is a safe space that fosters learning and growth in unison through un-sober reflections! No pretension. No judgement.

About you

Would love to know about you, please drop a message here!

 

How to deal with Negative people (1)

Everyone has suddenly gone snobby with management of negative people! The general rule is to avoid them like a plague. Do not relate with them, everyone says, they spoil our own good vibe, our crystal aura, they disrupt the sea gulls that squeal around in our bubble of tranquility. They distract our unicorns from drinking from the burbly, shimmery brook, they ruin our day with their thunderous, dark clouds. Spot the negative people and then weed them out. I like this rule because its convenient and frankly i don't have to deal with anyone's bad aura. I have things to do and I have a calendar full of tasks and deadlines. I need to be productive and we all know what they say about productivity (*insert abstract Productivity quote*).

Nevertheless, i can't agree with this rule. It belittles my ability to impact others positively and  i'm also at risk. You see, sometimes, i could be a little negative myself and I could very well be excluded from the unicorn islands of the "positive people"! And who wants that? No one! There's no way i'm passing on unicorns. So i have decided to deal with the bigger problem, bigger than dealing with negative people - dealing with negative me.

How to deal with negative people me

 

 

1. Think positively (but you already knew that)

Everyone knows this, but we only begin to chant "Think positively" when stuff has gone crazy and our negativity has gone crazy wild, biting at our heels and trying to ruin our lives. Thinking positively is a life style. It's everyday, every night, every waking, blinking second; not a magic wand. Whatever you think up in your mind or whatever ruling thought dominates your heart is what will spill out. Yes, your thoughts eventually spill out. It's like burping. If you had sea food gumbo for lunch, your burp 3 hours later will be nothing short of epic. So, think positively, ruminate on the good thoughts and burp rainbows.  

2. STOP HAVING COFFEE AND DOUBLE-CHOC MUFFINS WITH FEAR

Honestly, i think at some point, fear was my best friend. Interestingly, she was always there. I never could complain that she ditched me....always there, in my bed, in the dark, in the car, on my run, on the plane. I literally would entertain fear unconsciously, until one day, she decided to take over my life. "She's part of the human response", you might think. True, but she is also  NEGATIVITY in the flesh. So we broke up. Yup, we had bad blood. Definitely had bad blood. We could not be friends anymore. No more hanging out and catching up, started snobbing her and ever since, it has been coffee with God instead. 

3. New habit: Choose not to complain  

Complaining signifies a state of helplessness and constant dissatisfaction. It's not healthy for you or the people around you, so Shake it off! Shake it off! (I am on a Taylor Swift roll today). It takes a while to train yourself to stop complaining. On the average, it takes 66 days to acquire a habit (sometimes a little more). Try not complaining about traffic, the driver that just cut in, your commute, your boyfriend/husband/wife, parents, kids, work, the weather, lunch, the neighbor whose food smells like locust beans for 66 days. It will be the best 95,040 minutes of your life!

4. The gratitude plug

If you know anything about change at all or about quitting, you'd know a void appears in the absence of a past habit. So what to do with this gape left by complaining? Stuff it with gratitude, most especially to God. I don't know anyone who cares so much about anyone else as He does about us. There are so many things to be grateful for. That locust-beans neighbor for one, is something to be grateful for. Loads of people will kill for a neighbor of any sort but they don't have the opportunity (think Syria). 

5. #NOTEVERYTIMEDEVILSADVOCATE

Encourage others! To encourage means 'to give confidence to.' People need confidence and its completely in our power to inspire. Speak words that encourage, not words that cut down. Encourage people to dream...dream big and to achieve those dreams, even if the dream is to sell a wide variety of colorful sequins for a living, just be supportive. Sometimes people in our lives do things we can't relate to and then we get stuck in our lack of understanding and do nothing. It's not about us, its about being a form of support #noteverytimedevilsadvocate #Justsupport #butonlylegalstuff .

6. See the good in people

I know. Some people task your optic nerves trying to see the good in them but it's there. Seeing the good in people requires you readjusting your perspective. Just a little more to the right. Yup, there it is.

7. Say Good things about people 

Sometimes the words fall out of our mouths, but do they.....really? Every word that comes out of your mouth is actually passed along an interestingly complex neural circuit in your brain. It didn't just fall out. It was thought through and then it deliberately stepped off the ledge of your tongue. The fact that it's conscious and calculated means its controllable. We can actually CHOOSE to say good things. Speaking good about people is a necessity for the health of your mind. Trust me. 

 

Do you have any tips on dealing with inner negativity? Please share below and remember to love on a negative person today! Unicorns are so in!

Follow

My File Cabinet of Wrong

24 fun things to know about Nigerians (P.s And 1 reason to have one as a friend)