9 Unusual but Effective Couple Habits
Besides holding hands, staring deeply into each others eyes while sharing a giant tub of ice-cream and listening to Savage garden on shared earplugs every Saturday afternoon, besides going to the movies on Tuesday nights and flooding Instagram with Usies, there are tons of other couple habits that help build a healthy relationship. Here's a list of not-so-ordinary habits that can be adopted to build a fun, deep and healthy relationship. #1 is the hardest pill to swallow and maybe #9 too. Probably #7 too. #2.....takes some self-disciple. Ok...just read and let me know. Enjoy!
1. Tell each other about attractions to other people (cringe, told you)
Why: It eliminates insecurity, builds honesty and accountability
Before anything else, your partner should be your friend and communication should be very much embedded in your relationship. Being honest about attractions to other people is a very rare habit that can only work in a relationship that is very secure and with equally secure individuals, who have the same goal of making their relationship work. If that's in place, then the announcement of a crush doesn't seem so doomsday-ish, more like a teeny obstacle to be managed. Being able to talk about attractions sets your relationship several levels higher than the average and the wise and effective management of the situation, sets it echelons higher than excellent.
2. Laugh 95% of the time
Why: Why not?
Laughter is rumored to be the best medicine. Now, the medicine is not really the laughter itself, but the feel-good feeling derived from with the company you are with. Laughing with your other half creates a deeper social bond and release endorphins. In fact, laughing produces the same effect exercise does! It increases your heart rate and blood flow, increases your immune response. And best of all, laughter burns calories.* It's like working out with your partner without lifting a finger.
3. Resist the nag bone
Why: Studies show nagging reduces your partner's lifespan
I bet you didn’t know that. So if you want your partner around for longer, i suggest you stop nagging. He heard you the first time. As for men who nag, (lol, I know you exist) just stop it. STOP. It completely negates the effect of #2, in fact it negates this whole list. If your spouse nags, you need to get them to stop, your life is in danger! Send them this post!
4. Solve your disagreements in less than an hour
Why: prevents anger and hurt from festering
While researching for this post, i discovered quarreling too frequently might result in early death (I guess the grim reaper is generally drawn to couples, aye?) Even more interestingly, the unemployed spouse (namely the housewife, in most cases), is who dies first. What?! This is so unfair. Women always get the short end of the stick. If you are a nagging house wife, please stop. #3 promises to kill your husband and #4 promises to kill you too. Fights are healthy as long they are infrequent, don't involve physical or emotional bullying and as long as they are resolved with a timely, concrete "how-to-move-on-from-this-situation" solution. Like any other situation, fights need to be managed properly, otherwise, the anger festers and the resentment grows, stuff gets weird and then casket. Not worth it.
5. Imbibe the "Aphrodisiac diet"
Why: to increase the kink
Here's a list of foods to add to your daily meal schedule for increased hankipankiness: Avocados, Hot chilies, Bananas, Dark chocolate, Oysters, Pomegranates, Red wine, Salmon, Walnuts, Vanilla, Watermelon.
6. "Us time" = 5 X Social Media time
Why: Because Social Media is not going to get you any
The average person spends about 2 hours per day on the internet. 28% of that time is spent on social media (SM) platforms. That's about 33-45 minutes, roughly. Most of this SM time is spent in the presence of a spouse and that's expected because you can hardly do it freely at work. So on the couch you plop, with your screen in your face and her all blurry in the background. All this is fine, i'm not going to campaign that social media time be reduced. I'm however going to suggest that the time spent with your spouse matches this Facebook time....by 5. Let's do the maths, for every 45 minutes of Facebook time, you give your partner your undivided attention (without your phone) for 3hours 45 mins. Not too bad, right?
7. Talk after the big 'O'
Why: Because pillow talk matters
Pillow talk matters because right after orgasm, oxytocin (the love drug) floods both individuals making them feel a heightened level of trust and intimacy, setting the atmosphere for deep, future-planning and concrete conversations. Most people are very likely to confide and feel secure after pillow talk. In general, this leads to a healthier and blissful feeling of security (....until he falls asleep). Some even suggest that pillow talk might be as important as sex itself. Who knew?
8. Speak life into each other's lives
Why: Because it loads your minds with confidence and beastly determination (and who doesn't need that)
The only thing worse than cussing out your partner is not speaking anything at all. Some of us let life happen to our partners, we don't pray for them, we don't confess scriptures into their lives. Speaking into his life assures him that you have his back and most importantly God has his back. Positive encouragement also makes him more coordinated and efficient in executing tasks, which explains why your company insists you go for those motivational seminars and listen to that man with the brown tie for hours. Instead of letting your partner get all his motivation from a book or the man in the brown tie, be his life coach. Speak and Sustain.
9. Hang out with him while he's on the toilet
Why: there is no good enough reason for this
I don’t even know where this idea came from! I'm not sure if gisting while on the toilet makes you closer. Maybe it does, maybe not. You should try it though, even if it’s once, in a bathroom with an open window and maybe a fan and some air freshener and some scented candles and a gas mask.
Do you know any more unusual but effective couple habits? Or do you already do these?
*Note that 10-15 minutes of laughter burns just 50 calories. Yup, the only way to burn away that 700 calories you just had, is to laugh for over two hours.